“What is the ultimate act of friendship?”
It is customary that common answers would adhere in the universal acts of generosity, kindness, caring, patience etc. Friendship is understood as the attachment between people that involves some degree of intimacy; intimacy also involves disclosing oneself to the other (e.g. sharing likes and dislikes, sameness and differences, pledge, secrets, etc..), which overall requires trust. In other words, you are allowing yourself to be open to someone you have entrusted even if it takes your own vulnerability from this openness. When I was young, and someone who grew up as a Catholic, I always wonder why adults considered Judas to be the closest apostle to Jesus and yet Judas betrayed Jesus. Today I start to think, what if the ultimate act of friendship is the opposite? That is to say, BETRAYAL. No person can betray someone who is stranger; nor can they betray their known enemies, because the acts of hostility are always anticipated at any time. Wasn’t that the reason Jesus immediately figured out Judas to be his betrayer because of their utmost intimacy compared from the rest of the apostles? The ultimate act of betrayal by Judas was the measurement of their friendship. Judas clearly exceeded all the other apostles, “Friend [Judas], do what you came for.”- (Matthew 26:50). It wasn’t that Judas did it for the 30pcs. of silver (if it was, Judas can ask from Jesus, who can perform miracles, more than the worth of 30pcs. of silver), but Judas truly understood that Jesus had to be liberated from his human prison flesh, and so Jesus may return to the Spiritual realm — precisely, you will always be betrayed for what you are. Hence, only your friends who can call you with stupid names and still you laugh at it; only your friends who can expose you from your embarrassments and still you embrace it, and that is friendship! But oftentimes, some higher degree of betrayal causes us to be upset which may genuinely disturb our self-esteem. You may ask, “How can I prevent betrayal? Or guard myself against it?” Actually, you can’t. It is inevitable, (1) because you don’t have control over the will of others and if betrayal is preventable, then it cannot be known yet as betrayal; (2) most of the time, it occurs at the very moment when you’re defenseless and unprepared. All you can do is to recognize this pattern and learn to accept whenever it happens, it is part of our learning and growing up mentally. However, it is only tolerable to be betrayed once; if it does twice, then it’s already your fault.
Many have always wondered that from 99 things they have done for someone and yet it is the one unperformed will always be remembered or that one mistake often forgets and outweighs all the other good deeds. What if all these acts of generosity, kindness, caring, patience etc. are acts of giving all what you don’t have to someone who actually doesn’t need it? I’ll just leave this question for something to ponder on.
